Category: Uncategorized
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Five Years Gone
Hello, grandmother. I’ve missed you terribly. I wonder how you are all the time. Then, I wonder if you wonder the same about me, too. It’s been quiet for a while now. A bit too quiet, actually. I don’t feel your presence as much as I used to. I haven’t dreamt of you, been inspired…
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I am not meant for your idea of greatness.
Do you know what pressure feels like? Well, it feels good sometimes. Mostly, though, it’s just a nag. It’s a mountain of piled expectations. It’s a goal. It’s a long-term plan that has about 15% potential. It’s a vision of the future you see yourself living. That’s what pressure is. Sure, most of the time…
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May The Butterflies Rise Again
I remember the aches I felt in my stomach when I’d see you smile. The way the butterflies fluttered out of control and made me wince, because it was just too much thrill to contain in one abdomen. I remember when they’d start to rave when our eyes would lock, because they’d feel just as…
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About That Year
It was a cold December night in Riverside. The house smelled like damp wood and wet carpet, it had been raining for a week straight. The weather was gloomy. The city was gloomy. And I, especially, was gloomy. I was lying in bed that night, watching the Christmas lights that flickered through my dark curtains…
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Four.
Well, it’s been four years without you. Without your smile, your long black hair. Without your laugh that could light up a house. No, a life. My life. It’s been four years without your fine cuisine, wise words and house full of cats. It’s been four years without someone to turn to when my heart aches.…
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Winter’s Coming
Winter memories are the best memories I could ever want to have. Winter and I have a thing. A real thing, you know? Kind of like a comfort zone. It’s the time when I feel my happiest. A time when I feel free, boundless and able to breathe. BREATHE! It’s perfect. The cold oxygen through…
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Pursuit of Sanity
It all engulfs me! The hate, the anger, the uncertainty.. It’s possessing me entirely. I feel it in every single cell in my body. They burn-up like small candles held by a billion angry people just waiting to torch me down and let the ashes make a scene worth talking about. Misunderstood ashes, blamed by…
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Fragile
There’s so much to break. In our daily lives, I mean. Like a glass cup, a mirror or even a promise. There are so many things that break. What if that something that’s bound to break.. is you? There are things that can be fixed. Sometimes, however, the fall is so bad it sends pieces…
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Rooftop Havens
Everything’s so real sometimes, that you need to step away a little. You need to be far enough to breathe and take it in. A safe place for your thoughts, emotions and self. Someplace where everything makes sense. I call that place my rooftop. When it’s a mess in your head, and you’re angry at the…
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Nighttime
Curtains, shadows and a cold night sky. A desert, a story and a breeze of winter memories. Silence, a call and a sweet soft cry. Conscience, a thought and a million questionable catastrophes. Why? All I ever want to know seems to start with an aching, screaming “why?”.
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Blindness
With a blank white ceiling comes a different story every single night. When things are too plain in front of me, the colors start stirring in my head and form an image of some sort of blissful perfection. Sometime in January, this time. Maybe in February. Months seem to decide. On the other hand, I…
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Beauty Within
I don’t get how people are so blind. They’re distracted by everything that already is, and they can’t see what could be. There’s nothing more beautiful than all the could’ve, would’ve beens. I see every heart worth loving, and every soul worth forgiving. It kills to watch the good hearts fade away behind the scars…
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November
What’s more beautiful than the cold breeze of air through the windows in the morning? The winds between the locks of hair, sinking into the skulls of numb faces. Numbness. Familiarity in the senses, inside and out. Creating nothing but blissful balance in the struggle between what we are inside out. It’s perfect. For once,…
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Shape Shifting at Twenty One
It’s another year, another day. What’s the difference? Things change, it’s just that you’d think they’d change drastically. But they don’t. Last year, I slept 20 inches from the side of my bed. This year I sleep 21. 21 years off a cliff, and still spiraling down. Although I’m falling, sometimes the hourglass flips abruptly…
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Now What, Grandma?
Remember our early morning talks, grandma? When you’d keep reminding me that my education is everything. When you’d tell me to love myself so that people would love me. When you’d tell me to drink a lot of water, and wash my face every chance I get. Why can’t you do that anymore, grandma? I…
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